Open letters from Indigenous student-athletes Julia Baniak and Colin Buffalo

On this national day of Truth and Reconciliation, STFX Athletics shares open letters from Indigenous student-athletes Colin Buffalo of the X-Men Football team and Julia Baniak of the X-Women Rugby team. Both Buffalo and Baniak share their thoughts on what reconciliation means to them. 

 

JULIA BANIAK

My Name is Julia Baniak. I am a 19-year-old Cree (Nêhiyāw) woman from St Albert, Alberta. My home reserve is Muskeg Lake Cree Nation in Saskatchewan. I am the granddaughter of a Residential School Survivor. At a Ceremony for Truth and Reconciliation Day, I was initially supposed to present a speech with four other students on what reconciliation means to me. However, due to whatever circumstances, the ceremony was canceled. I am grateful that I can still share it with you.

I am the product of intergenerational trauma. I am the product of residential schools. I am the product of colonization, and I am proud of that. I can not speak to the horrors our ancestors felt and dealt with in those schools, but I can say I live with the consequences of them every day on my journey. What our people endured and continue to endure today is no fairy tale and can not be sugar-coated. We did not have any heroes to save us, and we still don't. Every day we fight to get recognized and heard. We are our own heroes. Now, if the mere introduction of my speech makes you uncomfortable to listen, think, or even speak about... imagine our lives daily. Conversely, if you weren't uncomfortable before, it might make you when I get a little personal about my family and my journey, as it is what reconciliation means to me.

My Kokum (grandmother), Rosalie Arcand, was a residential school survivor.  Although she would never speak about her experiences, I can tell you it must have been felt in the way she parented. I say it must have been felt by how she parented because she grew up with a lack of parental presence. Nuns and Priests raised her, which means she couldn't learn from her parents how to parent. Although the school might not have given her the knowledge of how to parent, what she did know was how to fear our culture, so she never talked about it. Hence leading my father and two aunts not to know our culture; besides that, I can not speak of their experiences growing up because it is not my own story (it is a tradition not to share other people's stories unless they gave you permission to do so, which is why I can not share them with you.) On the contrary, I can say I deal with the effects every day of not learning about my culture from my dad, who never had the knowledge in the first place. I do not blame him for not trying to learn because we all find trauma in our own ways when we talk about our culture. For me, my trauma is being whitewashed. What I mean by that is not being seen by either race. I do have white ancestors, but I as well have native ancestors. It is a bit simpler in our world because we do not have blood quantum. However, I am still seen as too white because I never grew up on a reserve. As for living in the white world, all they can tell is that I am not white. Most commonly, I get asked if I'm Latina (which I take as a compliment because they're gorgeous); I also have been called middle eastern and Asian, to my surprise. This becomes traumatizing because I never feel seen by either culture. Even on my journey, I must balance relearning my culture and decolonizing vs. the colonized world I am used to. I admit I am fortunate compared to many and have it easier than others, but the journey to reclaim my heritage is not. That is why I am the product of intergenerational trauma, a residential school, and colonization. My journey and my truth as a mixed indigenous person are my reconciliation. Having said that, everyone must acknowledge that my reconciliation journey differs from the next. We all individually have our journey, but as a community, we stand together to make the world a better place for the next generation of Indigenous Youth.

Tansi, hello, bonjour, my name is Colin Buffalo. I am plains Cree nehiyaw (nay-he-yow) and hail from Samson Cree Nation, Maskwacis Alberta, located on Treaty 6 Territory. I am the grandchild of Johnny and Marcia Crier, and Wilda and late Colin Buffalo, survivors of residential and Indian Day schools. As Reconciliation Day is now recognized as a national holiday, I was asked to speak about what reconciliation means to me.

 

In the past my people were mistreated as their way of life was different from a European colonial lifestyle. After the horrific events which took place, there have been efforts to try and reconcile the relationships between the First Nations of Canada, with the government and society. Reconciliation is more than just throwing money at someone and saying "I'm sorry for what happened, lets get over it". It means that I should be able to go and visit my home reserve and not have to bring my own water bottle. I should not have to drive around my hometown and see the poverty rate go up, with many of them being Indigenous and getting younger every year. Reconciliation to me means that the government will

help seek solutions rather than just an apology. An apology was a start by acknowledging it, but we must seek solutions for those that need it. By helping people who need it, by helping them find peace, help them battle their addictions. Acknowledge that many First Nations people who are addicts suffer from intergenerational trauma, and not just being a "drunken indian". Indigenous youth should not have their innocence stripped from them because they are racially stereotyped. Reconcile with society by treating everyone as the same, while acknowledging as to what happened and why some people are the way they are.

 

On July 25th, 2022, Pope Francis from the Vatican visited Ermineskin Cree Nation, located in Maskwacis about a kilometre away from Samson. This visit from his holiness was historical, but there were some flaws to his visit. The roads in Maskwacis have been in poor condition for a long time. A majority of the roads are made up of gravel, and the few roads that are asphalt have huge potholes that have sat for years. The Canadian government decided to solve these problems not for the people of Maskwacis, but for the Pope. These actions should have taken place long ago, yet a non-Indigenous figure who came to visit Maskwacis saw his entire route paved. I feel his holiness should have received a tour of the reservation, to see how the Catholic church's actions have affected this reserve. From poverty, to gang violence, high suicide rate, the drinking water situation, all of it. To show him what life on the reserve is really like, rather than the one the government tried to show. This visit was an opportunity to move forwards towards reconciliation, and I do feel that it was, but executed very poorly from our government. If the government truly wanted to reconcile, they wouldn't have tried to cover up what life was like on

an impoverished reserve.

 

The government can't throw money towards us and say "we're sorry, figure it out", but they can help us seek a solution. Setting up rehabilitation centres on more reserves would allow people to be comfortable helping their community members themselves in practices they are used to, rather than ones they are forced to learn. Funding recreation centres to help keep youth off the street and introduce them to sports and clubs to make them feel welcomed there, rather than gangs. Reconciliation can only happen when everyone acknowledges what did happen. Understanding that forgiveness is for yourself, rather than for those who wronged you. Our Canadian history is ugly but it cannot be looked past us. And we can only move forward when we recognize and understand that people are still struggling from the actions of residential schools and the Indian Act.